A New Journey

Today is day one of a new journey for me.  Over the years, my body structure has, well let's just say changed for the worse.  I have become a me I never thought I would be and it has eventually affected nearly every aspect of my life.  I am 1.5 years away from turning 40 and I suppose maybe it's a little late, but not too late for a change.

I think all this time, I just didn't see the total value that I have.  I didn't realize my worth.  I've always been on the shy side.  I've always been extremely self conscious.  I've kept words in my head that were spoken over me as a child and have let those words define me.

I have come to realize however that my worth is not in who I am, what I have, where I go, what I do or what I look like, but rather it is in the eyes of my heavenly father.  I AM valuable.  I AM beautiful.  (My mom tried to tell me that, but I never really heard her.)  I AM worth it.  I AM who God wants me to be, warts and all. 

I'm not interested in hearing any "I told you so's" from anyone.  I'd rather not see any smug, knowing faces out of my periphereal vision.  I'm not going to listen to you tell me if only I had done this years earlier.  This is what works for me. And if it had to take getting me to this point to change, then that's my problem and not your topic of the day.  

This is the day that I am ready.  This is the time that I have chosen to begin.  Perhaps 38 years have passed of my life, perhaps I've only got 38 years left of my life.  But this is my real beginning, because, finally, finally, I know who I am.  I am chosen, holy and dearly loved by my ABBA father.