Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Ages

Ages have passed since my last words here. 

Milestones? 

There are a few.  It's been one year since Donnie started dialysis and in some ways he's better, and in others, he's just not. Kellan has started taking meds for ADD. Emmi is outgrowing her clothes almost as quickly as I buy them. And I cannot find a job to fit around my varying schedules of the kids' school hours, Donnie's dialysis hours and our church hours. It seems my inflexibility is quite understandably not very attractive to any potential employer in this region.

Plans? 

I'm thinking of going back to school and finishing out my degree. I'd probably have to go online to work around our schedule and obligations and I'm not quite sure what I would major in... maybe journalism? I'm also toying with the idea of seriously blogging to the point that perhaps it could generate an income, or attempting to freelance write, but so far I've felt a little too inferior and unknowledgeable to take any of these ideas on. But it's time to stomp out fear and move forward, somehow, some way.

Issues? 

Still dealing with Emmi's eczema and although we've found some things that really work well for her, the last few months I've been trying to step back and give her a little more responsibility in learning how to take care of herself since she will likely have to deal with this for possibly her lifetime. The result has not been so great, her skin is bordering out of control and my attempts to reassert taking care of her body in the proper way have been quite laughable. Just picture me pinning her down to put meds and lotions on her or me chasing her down the hall with vaseline all over my hands instead of on her dry, ashy, patchy, inflamed skin. Sigh... We saw her doctor this week and they added another 3 medications to the 3 she's already taking (not including her lotions) and I just don't know how I feel about that. I detest loading my child on meds that she may not really need when there is something natural that can work for her. But when her skin becomes this bad, I feel desperate enough to give in to meds for a temporary fix. Even though it is only temporary.

Kellan has been doing great on his ADD meds as far as school goes but it puts him in an ill temper (ai yai yai!) and he doesn't eat enough and sometimes has problems falling asleep. Which of course they want to give him a med to make him eat more and a med to help him fall asleep.  I don't know if I will use them though. I'm one who doesn't really believe in using meds unless they're absolutely necessary.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against modern medicine. But have you ever listened to those drug commercials on TV? They make a solution to-whatever-your-ailment-is sound so amazingly wonderful and then list all the side effects in a rushed/hushed voice. Side effects scare me, my friends. I believe my poor sweet mommy was a victim of said side effects. One medicine caused cholesterol build up. Cholesterol build up caused heart attacks. Meds for heart issues caused diabetes. More meds caused pulmonary fibrosis. Pulmonary fibrosis caused death. So me no likey meds if there is another healthier alternative available.

And my poor sweet hubby. I can't even tell you how many meds he's on these days. So many, for so, so many reasons... it's not just the kidney failure he deals with or the diabetes, or the hypothyroidism. There's restless legs and high blood pressure and sinus and tummy and-and-and-and-and... should I keep going? Let's leave a little mystery, shall we?

So there we are and here I go. Time to wake up my sleeping husband so I can put him to bed. :/  Goodnight my non-readers, figments of my imagination! Tomorrow another dialysis day awaits and my mind is already gearing up for it: What shall I read tomorrow? What deals will Kroger have on their meat? Will Walgreens have the kids meds ready? Will Donnie's clinic ever call in his thyroid medicine refill? Can I pass the kitchen table without staring at the Easter candy? Stay tuned for the intriguing answers!

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