I'm interrupting 'The Aftermath' Series to inject a little humor. Remember the 'strange stranger' I mentioned in Part 1 of The Aftermath Series? Where should I start? Okay, I'll say it like this. If you ever work at a funeral home, here are some suggestions of what NOT to do or say to a grieving family member of the person you are being paid to care for and for whom you handle the sensitive arrangements of their loved one. Since the moment these things occurred I have laughed at their absurdity more than once...
Number One.
Do NOT under any circumstances send a friend request on Facebook to the deceased person's loved one, spouse, relative, etc. It's weird, in bad taste, strange and just plain wrong. I'm sorry, but WHY would I want to be Facebook friends with the representative of the Funeral Home that is taking care of the arrangements of my deceased husband's body? It's creepy as all get out. Just don't do it. Please.
Number Two.
Do NOT share how the dialyzing fluid in the peritoneal cavity splashed unexpectedly everywhere when you were preparing a deceased person's body upon hearing their loved one say they had been receiving dialysis treatments at home. I really didn't need that visual image expressed through your inappropriate words in the middle of my stress when I was trying to pare down the services that I would prefer and just couldn't afford. I still have to tell myself to close my mouth when I think about it because it's usually left hanging open at the thought that conversation actually happened.
Number Three.
Do NOT say inappropriate things in front of someone's young children that could haunt their memory of the last time they see their father. Please. Don't walk up to me moments before we spend our last hour with my deceased husband when I'm nervous as all get out, trying to hold it together and keep my composure while being strong for my children and tell me you had trouble with my husband's body. Don't explain how you had to arrange for his arms to stay up on the table, we'll be able to see that for ourselves. Don't demonstrate with your own arms how his arms were flailing and flopping all about without the braces you rigged to hold them in place and then covered them with a pillowcase so we wouldn't see the metal. Don't say these things to anyone who is grieving about their loved one, let alone in front of their young and impressionable children. Really? Just, REALLY??? I mean, REALLY? SMH.
Number Four.
Do NOT come inside the family viewing room ten minutes into the only hour they have left with their loved one and approach the spouse of the deceased person with a post it note when she is holding a child and talking to a family member in the little amount of time she has left with her husband. Do not give her this post it note and explain that the top figure is the full balance minus the amount received shown equaling the remaining balance due for the funeral home's services when you should know it's not the right time for that. So inappropriate.
And Lastly, Number Five.
Do NOT run out behind the spouse's car from inside the funeral home with a mad urgency when she is about to leave to go to the Memorial service of her loved one at the church when you've already creeped her out multiple times. It's alarming. Especially when you come right up to her window out of nowhere and knock after she purposely closed the door in an effort to stop communication and in attempt to gear up for her loved one's service. Do not ask her if she wants you to run back inside and take the jewelry her husband was wearing off and bring it to her, when she already told you she would come later or another day to pick it up. Do you really think she wants to think about you running inside to rip the wedding ring and watch off of her husband's body and run back out to her with it at that very moment? Honestly?
TRUE. STORY. I kid you not. I have witnesses.
Monday's Blog: The Aftermath, Part 3: My Grieving Children - A closer look at how my kids processed their grief in the months following the loss of their Daddy.
2 comments:
He was creepy......
He was creepy.......strange!
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